Boluwa The Voice

1. Selfish people  I need this, I want that! What about me? what about what I want !!! Please if you are selfish stay far away from me. Thanks 2. The weather  I have showered 3 times today, the AC at the office doesn't get to me, no light to iron my weather friendly clothes. It's getting under my skin ... just like Fashola's kids I have Heat rash. 3. Double Standards This is in relation to Rihanna's video and Oloni's TL on twitter. If a man did a video where he shot a woman or even shoved her... I already see the headlines - Rick Ross promotes domestic violence, Drake endorses Violence against women!!! Needed me video Oloni told girls to tell their hoe stories and guys started saying they have trust issues and all that... girls this girls that. Think about it the other way- You'll see ' that guy is got game'.

Lil Kim recently changed her entire skin color and blamed it on men who cheated on her and low self esteem, the industry she found herself and blah blah. Why would a 41 year old woman suddenly feel the need to get botox injection and bleach her skin to what end? Self love is what people preach day in day out and yet you blame this same industry. One thing I have learnt about entertainment is that if you love yourself the industry will celebrate you - and we see tags such as "Redefining Beauty". Men aren't cheating because you are black, white women get cheated on as well!!! Not valid.  So now that you look Asian and shit - will that make the men stay? Miami Heat!!! 🔥🌞😍 A photo posted by Lil' Kim (@lilkimthequeenbee) on Apr 24, 2016 at 3:11pm PDT I'll share 10 powerful/successful black women who are in this 'Industry' and they blossomed- Diana Ross  Erykah Badu Oprah Aaliyah  Janet Jackson  Wh...

Did you miss where I stopped last week? Check it out here So I was on about the relationship formats and how the internet standards won't let us be. Well I got hurt pretty bad this weekend... check here for the full gist. So I'll deviate a bit today and talk about how it's great to follow your instincts, the importance of intuition and why insecurity isn't always normal. Have you ever stayed in a relationship where there is a dark cloud? unspoken words? hidden scars? I'm the most expressive person I know, I always have something to say and I always find a new way to express myself. If you want to be with me and you can't be open and talk to me, I might understand. But if you go around confiding in everyone but me then we have a problem!! So if I get myself in a relationship where I don't communicate enough with my partner, my instincts starts to tell me ' YOU ARE PLAYING YOURSELF BOO!!!' That means it's time to step. Intuition...

So my weekend didn't get dramatic till Sunday. Lemonade dropped and I couldn't catch a break on twitter. The visuals are so powerful and then the lyrics? Beyoncé killed it for me, and then the cameo appearances from Jay and Blue !!!!! I have concluded that I need to love someone enough to forgive them when (if) they cheat and they have to love me enough not to do it again. Should I start with the break up or turn up? Let's be chronological ... I was at a fun pre birthday photo shoot after church which was super fun, well for the part I was present. I'm not completely sure, but I can swear I got dumped via whatsapp yesterday.  Well after that happened my glow was out of this world and I had some fun in me so I went out with my friends!! Which was super turnt ... I had a bad Sunday really... and I need validation all week. Can't really put my thoughts to words.  N.B; Avoid people who don't have their shit together, because they'll rub...

My Laptop is acting up and I haven't really had time for the blog. I'll sort it out next week, till then.... go through old posts enjoy them.

So after the twitter drama last night I already said I won't comment on the blog, but something happened on my way to work and it made me wonder. Why do we  play the gender card only when its convenient ? On my way to work, two cars had a little accident and the lady driving the mini van was at fault but she still got down and started shouting. Out of respect the man came down and tried to calm her down, and before you know it the woman starts slapping him!  Nobody on the scene came to his rescue and the man hit her back and shoved her! Yes he did and people rushed to the scene 'how can you beat a woman?" So I ask you now, why do we always throw the first punch and conveniently play the gender card when we get hit? That's my direct interpretation on what happened. BTW shouldn't we report cases at the police stations to officers? How do we go to commissioners directly?

So I have learnt that no two relationships that are the same and there isn't "One person for you" There are also different types of relationships and there isn't a certain way all relationship should go. I see people tweet about how you should date your friend and how your partner doesn't need a best friend especially someone of opposite sex because you are supposed to be your partners bestie - There is another group of people that have really close friends they can't date because they don't want to ruin their friendship. Personally I see the dangers of your partner having a best friend of the opposite sex, Naya Rivera and Big Sean broke up and she married her "Best-friend" 9 months later  and now they've a baby together and all. All relationships can't be the same but there are certain things that should be constant in a relationship Communication How do people consider a relationship functional without constant conversatio...

If you missed Betty’s Banter Last week check here . How soon is too soon to have sex with your (new) partner? This is a controversial question that lingers through the minds of most females; we bother with what's the appropriate time to give it up to a guy after meeting him. We want to apply the dating rules that in my opinion are mostly generated based on our antiquated mindset. For the purpose of this write up I’d be dwelling on the controversial topic of not having sex on the first date. It was frowned upon in the old days to have sex on the first date but times are changing and some of the dating rules should not even be applicable, having sex on the first date should cause little or no uproar at all. It bothers me why sexual liberated females would subject themselves to fear of judgement by their partner following sex on the first date. He likes you enough to ask you out on a date and at a point in his mind he would have considered a million ways to bend you...

1 month and 39 posts later!!! Super excited about this, I think I'll share some really interesting stuff later in the day.

Yes darling you do!!! Whether you’re having vaginal sex with a partner or masturbating on your own, you may want to add lubrication to: Decrease painful friction in the vagina and/or anus - If you are into that type of thing. Enhance sexual arousal by stimulating the flow of blood to the vulva, which encourages your body to create some of its own lube - intercourse made easier. Lubricate the clitoris; this can create more sexual pleasure and an easier route to orgasm - Easy entry and stuff. Change taste during oral sex- For those lucky enough to get cunnilingus. Keep vaginal skin soft and help maintain elasticity of vaginal walls.  I guess some condoms come with Lube, just in case you are not wet enough. But who will buy lube? The ladies or guys? Read more about Lubricants  here

 If you missed my memoirs last week check here .    And please don’t start a lecture of don’t visit boys when you don’t want to do anything with them. At some point I almost lost my virginity, not exactly willingly. First I must Thank God for that day and second I must tell you the story. Me I was okay with visiting boys; at home and even in their hostels. Well it took one day and I lost every bit of trust in going to a guy’s house. I’ll be very dramatic and detailed, one faithful day I paid a friend a visit a "supposed crush"; we’ll call him “Douche” for the sake of this story. Somehow we were kissing then he asked 'Are you a Virgin'.  My countenance changed immediately, so he wants sex, first time here oh! And I hate answering such question but I had to, so I said yes... Mr. Douche looked at his wristwatch and said by this time of the year, you must be joking in his words “pick one remove your top or your jeans with no argument” I pulled my ...

I looked cute to church and had a really fulfilling service. And the jollof rice at the front of my church!!!! Amazing After church I had a work event at oriental, and the skin compliments started coming it. I have awesome dark skin.Cointreau was introducing their creative crew and someone gets a chance to win 20,000  pounds for a creative idea. They had awesome finger food and sweets, appaz all the sweet treats had alcohol which later made me a bit tipsy. Cab was about 6,000 naira to pick Betty up on our way to Cova for GATP!!! GATP was fun but somebody had a wardrobe malfunction and had to leave, the night ended at 1:30am. Had a great night....

My pet peeves change every week check out the things on my list last week here Boys Boys are annoying. They just get on my nerves so bad... the old and new ones. Social Media Attention Seekers  Stop putting your personal business out for Rt's and Likes and buzz. Not worth it, a certain couple did that all week on my page... disgusting. Fuel Scarcity  I don't have car or generator, but the traffic this fuel queues cause is getting the best of my back. Entering bus isn't fun with traffic. Lazy People  Get shit done yourself. Thanks.

Hi guys, here's a topic I really didn't want to talk about so quickly on the blog although it's one of my favorite topics to discuss after Vladimir Putin, but there was an issue that occurred recently between someone and I and It brings me to asking these question: What is it about people's lifestyle that brings about evaluation and judgement. Yes evaluation and judgement by people around you.  mostly the public opinion about you could be right but often times than not they all come down to wrong evaluations based on 'not so bright mentality' I personally I've been a victim of this wrong people evaluation and misjudgement over and over again. I meet people for the first time I have a conversation with them, throw a little of my intelligence into the conversation and they go: 'wow, you don't even look like someone that's smart' I mentally roll my eyes back in my head, like bitch really? Tell me what a smart person looks like. O...

I read anything and everything, I stumbled on a post, saying that we can soak tampons in unsweetened yoghurt and stick it up!! Read the post here . Would you?

 I always deliver and here is the second feature we will be having here.... It's the memoirs of a virgin. You might not understand the struggle virgins go through ehn.... We get full insight from a 21 year old virgin    A lot of people think when you're in your Teen years you should have lost your virginity.  When people discover you're a virgin, they go like virgin by this time of the year, please wake the Dead. It’s even worse when people don’t believe you, I have being in a 5 year relationship so it makes it hard for anyone to think I didn't give it up. That’s a story for another day.  Virgin at 21?  Abeg! just keep it till you get married. Last year I think around April my friend asked me if I have given up the 'cherry' I didn't know what cherry meant so I had to ask my other friend. Of course, she laughed before she responded and said its virginity LOL!!! So I replied my other friend and said ‘No dear I have not given it out’, ...

Still on my throw back series! Missed it last week? Check it out here.  See my coolfm friends and I goofing around.

I remember when 20 facts about me was trending on Instagram and one of the facts was I'll like to write my memoirs one day. And that day begins on Boluwa The Voice now. Not exactly sure where to start but maybe past to present or present to future. Any ideas?

Or could be a good one, which ever way if you plan to leave a relationship and you don't exactly want to break up verbally or with a text, may I suggest some actions? Ghosting 101 Avoid Calls Just stop picking up, Taylor swift did this to John Mayer and she even wrote a song about it. Just stop taking calls and don't explain yourself and make sure you don't change your number , so when it's time to block their calls they know it's real. Stop replying texts!  Don't make it look too sudden, just stop messaging first if you usually do that and when they text spend forever to reply and give one word replies or conversation killers "Lol, Aii, Okay, K " . Stop cute social media habits  We can't deny now that we communicate with use of social media.Some people go all out with posting pictures of bae every week for " MCM, WCW" . Stopping that will be a great idea and if you constantly send appreciation tweets that has to stop as...

Not keeping in touch  Don't think its okay to disappear for a while and not hit me up. Then when I hit you up, you starting asking how I am doing!! I had major dose of that this week, if you care so much hit me up first. Why don't you wear make up? Gosh!!!! Stop asking me why I'm not caked up. I attempted to do make up all week, on Friday I couldn't be bothered and the questions started rolling in! Leave my face alone, thanks. My account balance Only good thing about my finances right now is that I didn't get paid before Easter. However, I'm still broke and very upset. NB: I'll be talking a lot about relationships this week. Abusive relationships, ghosting and Okafors law.

I shared a story on twitter... Check out the thread. Guys I have gist sef ! — Media girl (@Boluwa__) April 2, 2016 So this guy and I started talking in July/August. — Media girl (@Boluwa__) April 2, 2016 Every time he'll call me and be talking about how I don't want to see him. Blah blah — Media girl (@Boluwa__) April 2, 2016 Major issue was that I stay on the island and he stays on the mainland. And he'll call by 11pm with "let's hang out " — Media girl (@Boluwa__) April 2, 2016 You'll have to follow on twitter to get the full gist. @Boluwa__ 

What have you done for love that might be too crazy? Maybe I should rephrase that to for people in general. I read a lot of articles and I have seen the most extreme stories. When making examples I will only use African stories, because I don't like when people make it look like it's a white people thing to be extreme regarding love. How far can you go to win back the "love of your life". Robin Thicke did a whole album for Paula just to win her back. He didn't tho Truth is most of us don't handle rejection well or finding out a partner is cheating. People have done the weirdest things to stay in a relationship as opposed to staying in love. I was reading about some girl that started using tightening cream because her boyfriend complained, long and short her PH is not balanced and now she stinks!!! The boyfriend still hits it when she is bleeding because the smell reduces. That's disgusting! Some dude has been embezzling money from his company t...